The Secret to Spiritual Growth Isn’t What You Think
Don’t Try Harder to Bear Fruit
If you’ve been a Christian for a while, you’ve probably heard something like this:
“Be more loving. Be patient. Be kind. Show self-control.”
And maybe you’ve tried… but felt like you were faking it, forcing it, or flat-out failing.
The truth? You weren’t meant to bear fruit by trying harder.
Think about it: plants don’t bear fruit by trying. They grow fruit by being rooted and nourished. And the same is true of us. We bear fruit as we stay rooted in Jesus and nourished by the Holy Spirit. He does the work in us as we trust and love Jesus—not by gritting our teeth and straining for perfection.
The Real Way We Change
Paul tells us,
“We all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.” (2 Corinthians 3:18)
We’re not transforming ourselves. As we look to Jesus—see His glory, grace, and love—the Spirit quietly, steadily transforms us from the inside out. That’s not pressure—it’s promise.
And Galatians 5:22-23 shows us what this transformation looks like:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control…”
This isn’t a checklist for spiritual elite. It’s a snapshot of what God grows in ordinary, imperfect people who keep turning back to Jesus.
When the Fruit Feels Out of Reach
Let’s be honest—sometimes we hear that list and think, “I’m batting 0 for 9.” We feel more angry than gentle, more frustrated than patient, more defeated than faithful.
But here’s the good news: this list isn’t law—it’s grace. Paul isn’t saying, “Try harder to be patient.” He’s announcing good news: “This is what the Spirit produces in you.”
And not just on Sunday mornings—but in conflict, in parenting, in exhaustion, in marriage, in temptation. Even in those deep places in you that feel stuck or broken or just done.
The Spirit isn’t asking you to suppress your anger or fake joy. He invites you to stay close to Jesus—because when you do, He produces something beautiful.
Love in Action, Not Just Emotion
Love isn’t just a warm feeling—it’s action. Sacrifice. Serving again, even when you feel like you gave more than your share last time.
1 Corinthians 13 shows us what this love looks like: patience, kindness, not counting wrongs… It’s all so incredibly relational because God is relational. He is love—and His Spirit produces in us the kind of love that sustains real-life, messy, everyday relationships.
Paul makes it even clearer in Galatians 5:6:
“The only thing that matters is faith expressing itself through love.”
That’s it. Not spiritual performance. Not theological credentials. Just this: faith in God’s grace showing up in how we treat others.
Faith that says, “God really has forgiven me. God really loves me. I’m really His forever.” And when the Spirit presses that truth into our hearts, we don’t just sing about grace—we begin to live it. We begin to love.
This is What Maturity Looks Like
Spiritual maturity isn’t measured by how early you wake up to read your Bible. It’s measured by how you treat people—especially when they make it hard.
That’s when fruit matters most:
Patience when your kid asks the same question 19 times in 3 minutes.
Gentleness when a family member offers unsolicited life advice.
Self-control when your teen rolls their eyes… again.
Sometimes the Holy Spirit is the lifter of your soul—and the shutter of your mouth.
Sometimes the Holy Spirit is the lifter of your soul—and the shutter of your mouth.
Have you ever felt like the Holy Spirit is the only reason you didn’t say what you wanted to say in an argument? The only reason your marriage is still intact? The only reason you haven’t completely given up?
That’s real. He’s worked in you more than you know.
When You Don’t Get It Right…
And when you don’t get it right—when you blow up, shut down, or just walk away—that’s part of being human.
But even then, faith turns us back to Jesus.
“Lord, I blew it. Help me love again.”
That’s abiding. That’s staying close to the One who never blows it.
If you’re feeling unseen or like you’re never enough—hear this:
The Spirit is at work in you, even in the ordinary chaos of work and parenting.
Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 12:9,
“My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness.”
So when you love, forgive, or show patience even when it costs you—that’s Christ in you. You may carry more wounds, regrets, or anger than others. That’s real. But God’s Spirit can meet you right there.
What Can You Do?
This doesn’t mean we’re passive. If you want to walk by the Spirit, here are a few practical ways to respond:
Turn to God, not just your emotions. When you feel anger rising or love fading, pause and pray: “Lord, Your love is better. Help me love like You.”
Know God’s Word. The Spirit uses Scripture to feed your soul. As Jerome said, “Ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ.”
Pray short, real prayers. When you’re in the middle of chaos, pray in the moment—honestly and simply.
Lean on the Church. God often works through others to remind you of truth and love you when you forget how.
Life is messy. Loving is hard. But the Spirit is faithfully growing something beautiful in you.
Stay rooted. Look to Jesus. And watch the Spirit bear fruit—maybe slower than you expected, but more real than you imagined.