The Hot But Holy Dilemma: When Desire Pulls Against Devotion
God has “opened His heart wide” to us, holding nothing back (2 Corinthians 6:11). “God doesn’t hold back His love — but receiving it fully isn’t always as easy as it sounds.” Are you a good receiver?
The Lord loves us so much that He wants us to fully receive and experience His love and then reciprocate: I’ve opened My heart to you, now “open your heart to me” (2 Cor. 6:13).
But something keeps some of us from doing so: “You are restrained by your own affections!” (2 Cor. 6:12). How often do our fears, doubts, and desires keep us from risking anything to follow Jesus?
Paul follows this with a serious command. “Do not be bound together with unbelievers” (2 Cor. 6:14). If you want your heart to be wide open to God, do not be bound together with unbelievers. That sounds restrictive, even unloving. But God is love. This is about freeing our affections to love God, so be open to this.
When he says, “Do not be bound together,” it’s the Greek word heterozugeo—hetero (different) zugeo (to yoke or hitch). Do not be “differently yoked.” Don’t pair an ox and a donkey to pull a plow; each will pull against the other. How much more important is this principle in our closest relationships?!
Greek: Heterozugeo – “unequally yoked” Don’t be tied to someone pulling in a different direction.
Does this mean we have to cut off our friends and family who don’t believe in Jesus? No! Jesus dined with sinners, loved the lost, and engaged with the least religious people. So He’s not having us ghost them! But do avoid forming deep, covenant relationships with them. Don’t grant intimate heart access or spiritual influence to individuals who might pull us away from Christ.
Avoid forming deep, covenantal relationships with those who are blinded by Satan and reject His Son. Don’t grant intimate heart access or spiritual influence to individuals who might pull us away from Christ.
A funny headline in the Babylon Bee caught my eye. A young man wrote something like: “My faith in Jesus is central to my life. I think dating can be fun, but ultimately, the goal is to marry the right person. And I know God says we’re not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. Yet here’s my dilemma: the girl I have a date with tomorrow night is not a believer, but, holy moly, she’s hot!! So, what should I do?”
“I know God says we’re not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. Yet here’s my dilemma: the girl I have a date with tomorrow night is not a believer, but, holy moly, she’s hot!! So, what should I do?”
This is the “Hot But Holy” dilemma. But it isn’t just about dating; it’s about any area where strong desires clash with our love for God. Whether it’s a girl, another purchase, just one more bet, or any other temptation, our affections and hormones often hijack our discernment. We justify our desires.
The “Hot But Holy” Dilemma: when our desires clash with our love for God.
The Hot But Holy Dilemma might argue: “But she’s open to spiritual discussions!” Great! Invite her to church—before you get emotionally invested. Or introduce her to your life group, not your love life.
“But you don’t understand—he’s so charming! She’s so beautiful!” Well, here’s God’s 10: “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD shall be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30)
Attraction is important, but more than looking good, a godly spouse helps you live good. A partner without faith and love for Jesus can (intentionally or not) pull you away from Jesus.
Israel’s history is a cautionary tale of how intimate relationships with unbelievers can lead to spiritual compromise. Solomon’s downfall was a direct result of his unbelieving wives, who turned his heart away from the Lord. We must guard our hearts and protect our closest bonds, ensuring that those who speak into our lives are aligned with our values and faith.
If you take issue with this, Paul asks us to consider these questions: “For what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? Or what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; just as God said, “I WILL DWELL IN THEM AND WALK AMONG THEM; AND I WILL BE THEIR GOD, AND THEY SHALL BE MY PEOPLE. Therefore, COME OUT FROM THEIR MIDST AND BE SEPARATE,” says the Lord. “AND DO NOT TOUCH WHAT IS UNCLEAN; and I will welcome you. “And I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to Me,” Says the Lord Almighty. (2 Cor. 6:14-18)
“The things you’re clinging to are chains,” God says, “Let go, I’ll catch you.”
This is what God wants for you. “The things you’re clinging to are chains,” God says, “Let go, I’ll catch you.” Open your heart to Me—I’ll welcome you. Detach from compromising relationships—I will be your father, and you’ll be my sons and daughters.
When God asks us to walk away from what feels good, it’s because He’s offering us something better: Himself.
Too bad we cannot just download an upgrade to our “hot” meter and instead of asking, “Is she gorgeous?” or “Is he wealthy?” ask, “Do they love Jesus more than they love me?” or “Will they push me closer to God or pull me away?”
And if you find that you need to cancel that date or end this relationship, may the Lord give you the courage of a thousand Daniels to refuse the king’s food.